"everyone thinks that i have it all
but its so empty living behind these castle walls
these castle walls
if i should tumble if i should fall
would any one hear me screaming behind these castle walls
there's no-one here at all, behind these castle walls

nobody knows im all alone
living in this castle made of stone
they say that money is freedom but i feel trapped inside it all
& while i sit so high up on a throne
i wonder how i can feel this low
on top of the world its beautiful
but theres no place to fall"
TI - castle walls 

#lovestruck

i want to be more than friends.
but for now ..
i'll keep the relationship that we have together♥
but im seriously falling for you .. 

baby nephew sleeping<3

ramblings.

ugh. as bad as it may sound. i wish 2010 would end already. i seriously cannot wait for 2011 to come around. then maybe i can actually say the old me is dead and gone. for the past couple of days, i've been having those "what the fuck are you doing with your life" moments. *sigh. i wish i knew. im digging deep within myself to find the answer & have yet to find it. i need some serious guidance. i mean, i graduated with an associates in business administration with far more credits than i needed & im going back to undergrad next semester. why? because i found myself really unhappy with that major. im finally changing my major to early childhood education and wanting to minor in forensic science. weird combo, i know. but trust me, if i did early childhood .. i'd be far more than happy. i've worked with kids for three years and i just absolutely love being around them (all ages, but the little ones always holds a place in my heart). & i've always been fascinated with forensic science. so chyup. besides school .. life has been a downer. my beloved grandpa passed away days before my birthday & then not even a year later, my uncle said goodbye as well.  this just makes me realize that life it too short & it can be taken away from you at any given moment. as cliche as it is, we really do have to live every moment as if it was our last. we should all sit back, relax and say fuck it. bask in those moments. dont rush through life, or else you'll never truly enjoy it. i know we live in a fast pace world .. especially nyc. i mean c'mon. two seconds late at a green light & youre getting honked. SMH. my life goal .. travel around the world and experience it all. i've been pretty lucky to travel to so many places. some places more than once. australia - malaysia - hawaii - hong kong - china - france - london - US states .. california - florida - new mexico - boston - texas .. etc. you get my drift. even with the those great opportunities that people can only dream of, the surroundings of my life just hasnt been "happy." just when i need strength the most, everything falls apart. & i find myself standing there debating i should pick up the pieces. but then no matter how many times i pick them up and put them back together, nothing fits. nothing makes sense. thats when i feel like i've wasted my time trying. then again, thats just who i am. im a do-er. i try things once and even if i fail, i can say "i've done that. i gave it my best shot" and even though i dont succeed in that one particular things, i can at least say ive TRIED. rather than sit and wonder "what could've. should've. would've." but yeah .. i cannot wait for a new year. the minute it comes around it'll be the end where i begin.

TUMBLR